Understanding DDLG Sex Games

I remember years ago… thirtyish… I went to a convention for salespeople and was walked through the idea of a dream board and encouraged to cover every aspect of my life and focus on how I wish it was. Now, keep in mind I was in a committed relationship with both a Dominant and a Daddy Dom at the time and the sexcapades with both were so blended that blindfolded it would have been a hard guess who I was with, and in my mind that was the saddest of sad revelations that day. There were many but to say my crazy active sex life was bumming me out was an understatement. So as I cut out magazine pics for my dreamboard, I chose several playful bedroom scenes where the couples were pillow fighting, or having silly string wars; a man blowing bubbles over his lover; and a couple eating pizza in bed naked. Both men when presented with the images and laughed, leaving me heart broken. At some point I had entered a headspace neither understood.

At this point in time, there was no Pinterest, no Facebook, and no memes… I had no idea how to convince them my needs were valid.

Decades later, I met R, and after deciding we should have our first physical play session, I told him about my dream board and he didn’t laugh. He understood. And just that fast, I was committed to him forever. A lover is easy to find, a dominant that knows what he/she is doing a little harder, and a DDLG partner whose kinks, needs and desires sync with yours is perhaps the hardest of all… or the easiest…once you start asking for exactly what you need.

Let’s talk about Foreplay:
Noooooooo…. not a quick lickity lick cunnilingus.
Ohhh, no no, no, not sex toys.
Though both may happen later… I’m talking about the little time warmup, which may vary by age-play but typically littles and middles prefer a little fun with their romp in the sack. And here, a meme will illustrate nicely just what I’m talking about:

So, yes, real fun… not cuffs and collars, nor spankings or pinchings… though again, both may come later.

  • Pillow Fights
  • Food in bed, although keep in mind food fights are messy and someone is gonna have to clean the mess up and depending on who instigated… js.
  • Ditto slime, silly string, and body paint.
  • Bubblebaths with toys, which somehow become more sexual when a playful Daddy Dom joins in.
  • Naked Hide and Seek
  • Naked Board Game Play with Challenges and Consequences
  • Building a pillow or blanket fort

The list of scenarios is endless and any type of play may find its way into the foreplay… and lead to more traditional foreplay, cuddles, tickles, blowjobs and cunnilingus, and sex.  The sweetness or roughness of the main course sex will vary by mood and couple…

Now, the Warm Down:

Aftercare isn’t just for the rougher sides of BDSM play, and doesn’t only apply for when the sex turns rough. Always take the time to cuddle, spoon, kiss, and hug while the heart rate and breathing returns to normal. Gentle conversations that include affirmations of pride and love… Rehydration with water or juice.

Some couple put together an aftercare kit, which might include any or none of the following, because only you know the components of your dynamic and most lists offer generalities:

  • Vitamin E Oil or Lotion for massage in a scent she finds relaxing (For some that might mean Lavendar or Rose, but for others Almond or Coconut, and some Patchouli or Myrrh)
  • Baby Wipes or Summers Eve Wipes for quick clean up
  • Bandaids, Antiseptic Wipes or Creams, Pain Relieving Creams, Pain or Regular Medications
  • Comfort Items: Special Snuggly Pajamas, Socks, Sleep Mask, a super soft Blanket or preferred Stuffed Animal, Pacifier or Sippy Cup
  • If you didn’t partake in a bubble bath before, now might be the perfect time ….

The important thing to remember is that it is your relationship dynamics that make you and your lover’s sex life meaningful and incredible.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my new DDLG Romance Series Line: A Little Bedtime Story… Books One to Four also connect to the Van Zant Sibling Series, introducing the brothers Julian and Liam.

A Little Bedtime Story
Koko Book Two
A Little Bedtime Story
Koko Book One

Koko Book One: A LITTLE INDULGENCE

Koko Book Two: A LITTLE IN DANGER

Koko Book Three: A LITTLE KINKY ADVENTURE (coming soon)

 

 

 

 

 

WHERE TO FIND ROXY HARTE EROTIC ROMANCES

Easiest find for ALL of my erotica is at Amazon, Google Play and also at Loose-Id.

Now let me tell you about my Van Zant Sibling Series… let me say up front all of the titles are under contract but may not yet be available but coming soon and are in the production process so watch my page for updates… not yet available signified by *
BRIAN: it started as a single title about Brian, one of twelve siblings, is a coming-out story and tells about the betrayal of his husband who dallied with his twin… SURVIVAL INSTINCT
ALEXANDRA: when this uber-genius started whispering in my ear I thought single title, but then everyone fell in love with her. She’s OCD, ADHD, bi-polar, and a science genius…and such a beautiful mess. What was she thinking when a shot of tequila with her best mate turned into many shots and a menage a quatre on the bartop with his best mates…needless to say SURVIVING THE BIG MISTAKES had a lot of story and ongoing suspense… CONSEQUENCES OF THE BIG MISTAKES, LEARNING FROM THE BIG MISTAKES, SHIBARI PRESENCE, *HEALING FROM THE BIG MISTAKES, and *REVELATIONS OF THE BIG MISTAKES followed.
JESSICA: the oldest, big sister to Alexandra and eleven brothers, is a war widow with two teenagers and a life do-over plan on the beach (perfect summer read, right?) not convinced? Sun, sand, shibari, and not one romantic interest but three! With screaming orgasms in decadent proportions: LEARNING TO BREATHE and *LEARNING TO BREATHE AGAIN
JULIAN and LIAM: inseparable brothers in life, livelihood, and libido… these two are two hot to handle and introduce my DDLG (age play) series: A LITTLE BEDTIME STORY… where you meet Koko, who is a 22 year old J-Pop Diva that wears Lolita fashions and big colorful wigs and stands only 4’8”, a dream come true baby doll ingenue (if you disapprove of spankings, Daddy-little girl sex games between consenting, unrelated adults, move on ) *Bk 1 A LITTLE INDULGENCE, *Bk 2 A LITTLE IN DANGER, *Bk 3 A LITTLE IMPULSIVE
This series is ongoing, there are up to six more siblings to meet! And this is one kinky family!

A Little In Danger – New DDLG!

http://www.loose-id.com/a-little-bedtime-story-2-a-little-in-danger.html

Finally available!
The second DDLG story in my A Little Bedtime Stories world.
With Story 2, A LITTLE IN DANGER, we go on a Eurasian tour with little Koko, and her two Daddies, Julian and Liam Van Zant! Of course there is trouble, as the title implies, but who knew the threat could be so very close… or deadly?

Reviews for Story 1, A LITTLE INDULGENCE, were amazing and sales were high enough to convince my publisher that this genre is relevant! So, let’s keep the momentum going because I am already writing more DDLG erotic romances.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, readers!

For your messages and emails of support and encouragement. On my bad days, you keep my fingers flying over the keyboard… I love you all!