DISCLAIMER: This information concerns the Adult Lifestyles ABDL and DDLG and does not in any way, shape, or form refer to or apply to actual children. Please do not ever compare adult lifestylers to actual pedophiles who are sick, twisted individuals.
Let me start by saying that the information on this page is based on my experiences and by no means a complete list of all the ways that the dynamics I am about to cover can be expressed. This information is intended only as a starting point of discovery or affirmation.
Wherever you fall in the ADBL-DDLG-BDSM spectrum, you are okay, you are valid and your choices, urges, needs are completely natural and nothing to be ashamed up. If you have come up against prejudices, disgust, fear, judgement, hate… I’m sorry you had to experience those things… but there are safe spaces where you can express yourself fully… and there is great joy and empowerment in finally accepting and embracing who you are!
In the realm of ABDL and DDLG there is a lot of confusion and prejudice still linked to the lifestyle choices of those who partake in the subcultures of BDSM known as ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) and DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl). Even among longtime kinksters there are misconceptions and misunderstanding… for vanilla outsiders, the confusion can lead to hate and disgust. Making it hard for people who long to live the lifestyle to be themselves or even ask the questions that would help them figure out who they are and what they want in a relationship.
If you have urges to regress, or feel like you’ve never really been fully adult, that being an adult is actually the role you’ve been forced to play, but that is a lie, because you are clearly ill-equipped emotionally to adult… never fear, there is a place for you where you can be yourself and find the love and validation you’ve longed for.
- Little Age
Let’s start with the basics… Most littles can identify what age group their inner little fits into:
- Infant – the youngest age regressor, typically infant-toddler
- Baby Girl/Boy – approx 3-5 yrs old
- Little – approx 6-10
- Middles – typically tweens to teens
So let’s break it down…
- What is an Adult Baby, Diaper Lover? And what does the relationship look like when someone says they are into this lifestyle?
Attributes of their behavior might include:
- Non-verbal, communicating with happy or sad sounds not words
- For the most part, the adult baby is free to express themselves as an infant.Bottles
- Thumb or Pacifier Sucking
- Bed wetting/Diaper wearer
- Range of motion restriction ie diaper-type spreader with wrist restraints
- Enjoys being held, carried, and cared for completely. ABDL can cuddle for hours.
- Watching cartoons is a favorite escape for many.
- Naptimes are more requirement than luxury for them to function well.
- What is a Little?
A little is an adult who behaves in the role of a child at a certain age, and there can be different ages from older toddler to younger child. Typically less than 7 or 8 years old.
A little typically adapts to their circumstance, at home alone, or with their Daddy and close, trusted friends, they can be at their littlest. At work most littles act their age or manage to find jobs that support their personality. During a single day many littles float somewhere between the spectrum of their two personality types…
Although DDLG can be a subset of the BDSM community, just as pet play or pony play, the greater difference is that littles and Daddies/Mommies are not pretending, or role-playing, but rather sharing an aspect of their personality. In the BDSM community age or role play for a single scene isn’t terribly unusual, but this type of scening is not DDLG because DDLG is not age play. For an adult who is little, little is their identity. It’s a mix of feelings and emotions, it’s a way of interacting with the world from their most innocent inner being.
Preferred behaviors might include:
- Pacifier user
- Sippy cup use
- Cute dresses, lacy socks, and Mary Janes
- Any pastel clothing that reflects their younger persona, including but not limited to T’s, hoodies, and accessories with cartoon characters…
- however there are also Goth/Creepy Littles who prefer black clothing and a decidedly darker vibe and that’s okay!
- Likes to play be it coloring, gaming, or sports… littles like to be entertained and can be very needy of attention.
- Many littles suffer high anxiety and fear of rejection. Sadly, most have experienced more than their fair share of abandonment, rejection, and judgement.
- What is a Middle/Brat?
There are also older adult littles who identify as tweens or teens and are typically referred to as Middles or Brats. In DDLG, unlike BDSM a Middle or Brat personality is not shunned, ridiculed or punished for this endearing and maddening personality trait…both middles and brats are inherently mischievous, and often challenge the rules if not going so far as to break them in hopes of rattling their Doms or earning playful punishment.
Few go so far as to be so disobedient as to earn true punishment and therein lies the problem for a straight BDSM dominant who does not like this type of submissive. Most Middles/brats struggle under a hardcore dominant and the relationship is doomed to fail, or worse, the dominant succeeds in breaking their playful spirit.
- Fun-loving, playful, mischievous
- Blushy, giggly
- Tricksters, pranksters, jokesters
- Rebellious/Rule breakers
- Quick to regret
- Back talker
- Bubble-blower Gum smacker
- Patience tester
- What is a Daddy/Mommy Dom?
A lot like typical dominants in a BDSM relationship. They take charge of their little as a Master would their submissive; they enjoy being in control of the scene, however like for littles, the Daddies/Mommies aren’t role-playing either. Being a caregiver/nurturer/mentor/protector/disciplinarian is an integral part of their personality. It is always a good practice to have a limit checklist and safe words in place.
- Provide Mental/Physical/Spiritual support
- Provide care for
- Play partner, all types of play from online gaming, board games, playground time, hiking, rock climbing…any enjoyable activity that allows the little and Daddy/Mommy to bond and strengthen their roles.
- Sexual Partner – A Daddy/Mommy Dom and little relationship is generally also a sexual relationship, unless it is specified in the limits list that the relationship is a no-sexual one.
- Enforce agreed upon rules of behavior and guidelines to provide structure to their littles day.
- Provide multiple check-ins to inquire about day an provide task accountability whether phone calls, video chats, texts, etc.
- A Daddy/Mommy Dom will typically base their care around what a little needs. For example a little with self-harm history or present issues will visually check skin for self-inflicted wounds or prepare, provide rules around meals going so far as to monitor calorie intake and be on the lookout for sudden weight gains or losses. An exercise program, chore list, or outline academic expectations/workplace goals. Provide emotional/physical support/follow-up around scheduled doctor or therapist appointments.
- A Daddy/Mommy Dom and little relationship may be part of a greater polyamorous relationship where the little may be a little/sub/pet for one r more other family members.
- What is a Caregiver?
Typically provides guidelines, rules, structure, mentoring, discipline as agreed upon much like a Daddy/Mommy Dom would; however a CGL is a non-sexual relationship.
- What’s the difference between a Daddy/Mommy Dom and a Master/Mistress?
The greatest difference between Daddy Doms and a Dominant seems to be their approaches: Nurturing caregiver/mentor vs controller. Both Daddy Doms and traditional dominants have rules they expect to be obeyed.
A Daddy’s rules will reflect his and his littles goals for the little’s personal growth, may address an abusive or fatherless past, and may address a little’s worst personal habits. In many cases the little in their care may have fallen onto one or more self-harm paths, including but not limited to cutting, eating disorders, addiction.
- What is a Lolita?
Lolita’s may or may not also embrace the ABDL or DDLG Lifestyle. So do not assume.
On the fashionable streets of Japan, women and girls of all ages dress in mid-list couture dresses adorned with frills, lace, and intricately patterned fabric. The baby-doll dresses end in sea of ruffles just above the knees, and giant bows pin their long hair into place. Fans of this style of dress are popping up around the globe.
Types of Lolita’s Include: Classic, Country, Gothic, Mourning, Old School, Pirate, Punk, Shiro (white), Sweet
Koko, the character in my A Little Bedtime Story series, is both little and Lolita. Buy it here:
Koko Series, 2018