DISCLAIMER: This information concerns the Adult Lifestyles ABDL and DDLG and does not in any way, shape, or form refer to or apply to actual children. Please do not ever compare adult lifestylers to actual pedophiles who are sick, twisted individuals.
Let me start by saying that the information on this page is based on my experiences and by no means a complete list of all the ways that the dynamics I am about to cover can be expressed. This information is intended only as a starting point of discovery or affirmation.
Wherever you fall in the ADBL-DDLG-BDSM spectrum, you are okay, you are valid and your choices, urges, needs are completely natural and nothing to be ashamed up. If you have come up against prejudices, disgust, fear, judgement, hate… I’m sorry you had to experience those things… but there are safe spaces where you can express yourself fully… and there is great joy and empowerment in finally accepting and embracing who you are!
In the realm of ABDL and DDLG there is a lot of confusion and prejudice still linked to the lifestyle choices of those who partake in the subcultures of BDSM known as ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) and DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl). Even among longtime kinksters there are misconceptions and misunderstanding… for vanilla outsiders, the confusion can lead to hate and disgust. Making it hard for people who long to live the lifestyle to be themselves or even ask the questions that would help them figure out who they are and what they want in a relationship.
If you have urges to regress, or feel like you’ve never really been fully adult, that being an adult is actually the role you’ve been forced to play, but that is a lie, because you are clearly ill-equipped emotionally to adult… never fear, there is a place for you where you can be yourself and find the love and validation you’ve longed for.
- Little Age
Let’s start with the basics… Most littles can identify what age group their inner little fits into:
- ABDL- Baby – the youngest age-regression, typically infant-toddler
- Baby Girl/Baby Boy – regression to approx 3-5 yrs old
- Little – regression to approx 6-10
- Middles – regression to typical tweens to early teens
- Brat -regression to mid to older teen that is especially hard to manage: jokester/prankster, sassy or playfully, sarcastic, authority challenger, disrespectful
- Lolita – identity linked closely to fashion
So let’s break it down…
What is an Adult Baby, Diaper Lover? And what does the relationship look like when someone says they are into this lifestyle?
Attributes of their behavior might include:
- Non-verbal, communicating with happy or sad sounds not words
- For the most part, the adult baby is free to express themselves as an infant.Bottles
- Thumb or Pacifier Sucking
- Bed wetting/Diaper wearer
- Range of motion restriction ie diaper-type spreader with wrist restraints
- Enjoys being held, carried, and cared for completely. ABDL can cuddle for hours.
- Watching cartoons is a favorite escape for many.
- Naptimes are more requirement than luxury for them to function well.
Baby Girl – Baby Boy
A Baby Girl/Boy is an adult who behaves like an older baby who may still crave a paci or sippy cup but has mastered going potty and no longer requires a diaper but is still pre-school.
Behaviors probably include:
- Non-verbal under stress/Baby-talk other times
- Attachment to Stuffie
- Pacifier user
- Sippy cup use
- Cute dresses, lacy socks, and Mary Janes as selected by nurturer
- Amenable to a large extent, exhibiting tantrums when unhappy
- Non-logical and sometimes unreasonable
- Rules are required but should be negotiated while both nurturer and regressor are in adult mind-space
What is a Little?
A little is an adult who behaves in the role of a child at a certain age, and there can be different ages from older toddler to younger child. Typically less than 7 or 8 years old.
A little typically adapts to their circumstance, at home alone, or with their Daddy and close, trusted friends, they can be at their littlest. At work most littles act their age or manage to find jobs that support their personality. During a single day many littles float somewhere between the spectrum of their two personality types…
Preferred behaviors might include:
- Pacifier user
- Sippy cup use
- Cute dresses, lacy socks, and Mary Janes
- Any pastel clothing that reflects their younger persona, including but not limited to T’s, hoodies, and accessories with cartoon characters…
- however there are also Goth/Creepy Littles who prefer black clothing and a decidedly darker vibe and that’s okay!
- Likes to play be it coloring, gaming, or sports… littles like to be entertained and can be very needy of attention.
- Many littles suffer high anxiety and fear of rejection. Sadly, most have experienced more than their fair share of abandonment, rejection, and judgement. Low Self-esteem is a common trait.
- Difficulty managing emotions. Self-harm is a common symptom
- For this reason rules determining self-care are a must.
What is a Middle
There are also older adult littles who identify as tweens or teens and are typically referred to as Middles. In DDLG, unlike BDSM a Middle personality is not shunned, ridiculed or punished for this endearing and maddening personality trait…both middles and brats are inherently mischievous, and often challenge the rules if not going so far as to break them in hopes of rattling their Doms or earning playful punishment.
Few go so far as to be so disobedient as to earn true punishment and therein lies the problem for a straight BDSM dominant who does not like this type of submissive. Most Middles struggle under a hardcore dominant and the relationship is doomed to fail, or worse, the dominant succeeds in breaking their playful spirit.
- Fun-loving, playful, mischievous
- Blushy, giggly
- Can be occasional tricksters, pranksters, jokesters
- Rarely misbehaves on purpose
- Quick to regret
- Back talker
- Bubble-blower Gum smacker
- Patience tester
- What is a Brat?
An Adult Brat has been shunned by the typical BDSM community as being a fake or non-submissive; however in the DDLG community a Brat identity is not shunned, ridiculed or punished for this endearing and maddening personality trait…
Both middles and brats are inherently mischievous, and often challenge the rules in hopes of rattling their Doms or earning playful punishment. However a true Brat almost always challenges the Dom/mes authority in an effort to be forced to submit. Requires a strong Daddy/Mommy Dom/me with extreme patience skills.
Usually are purposefully sassy/sarcastic, disrespectful/disobedient to earn true punishment and therein lies the problem for a straight BDSM dominant who does not like this type of submissive. All brats will struggle under a hardcore dominant and the relationship is doomed to fail, or worse, the dominant succeeds in breaking their spirit.
- Fun-loving, playful, mischievous
- Sassy/Sarcastic, often Inappropriate Language in Most Settings
- Tricksters, pranksters, jokesters
- Challenges authority
- Misbehaves on purpose
- Slow to regret
- Multiple annoying habits
- Enjoys poking the bear and pushing buttons
- Loves to cause trouble and misdirect fault to cause others grief
- This regressive personality elevates Needy to an almost unattainable level so that the caregiver is always forced to prove their love. At times it will seem the Brat will force the Dom/me to choose them over another responsibility.
- Almost always exhibits some form of self-harm, whether refusing to eat/eating too much,refusing to take medications, smoking, drinking, abusing drugs, putting themselves in dangerous situations that require rescue, cutting, refusing excercise/excercise extremes.
- What is a Lolita?
Lolita’s may or may not also embrace the ABDL or DDLG Lifestyle. So do not assume.
A Lolita in the DDLG Lifestyle’s identity is closely linked to the Fashion made popular in Japan and resembles many anime characters.
- Identity molded by fashion
- Addiction to Kuwaii (cute) collectables
- Typically enjoys anime specifically
- Sets high standards of behavior and strict rules on self, needs a caregiver who will insist on taking out time for fun
- Sets high priority on appearance and will need extra time to prepare hair, make-up and clothing for their day. For this reason they are seen as most high maintenance of the DDLG Spectrum
- Craves attention, actress/exhibitionist…the world is their stage
- Costly habits: Manicures, pedicures, wigs, false eyelashes, colored contacts, shoes and matching handbags or backpacks
On the fashionable streets of Japan, women and girls of all ages dress in mid-list couture dresses adorned with frills, lace, and intricately patterned fabric. The baby-doll dresses end in sea of ruffles just above the knees, and giant bows pin their long hair into place. Fans of this style of dress are popping up around the globe.
Types of Lolita’s Include: Classic, Country, Gothic, Mourning, Old School, Pirate, Punk, Shiro (white), Sweet
Koko, the character in my A Little Bedtime Story series, is both little and Lolita.