For the adult who identifies as Little, but is between Caregivers, or whose Daddy Dom abandoned them … or for the Little in a LDR… or the Little whose Daddy/Mommy Dom/me travels extensively…
Being Little is sometimes hard!
Regression may seem like a far off dream…
But take heart, because I believe in you! You’ve got this!
How to Little when Home Alone (Tips for the Unsupervised!)
Eat dinner in the bathtub; remember, you are a prince/cess
Dance naked or covered in glitter or covered in body paint cause no one is looking! Really! You really can do what you want! Umm, you also have to clean up the mess, so keep that in mind when going crazy… or just totally do your thing, make a mess, and deal with the consequences tomorrow, or next week, or whenever…
How to Make Decisions When Little With No One To Help
If this is a Legal thing -call a lawyer (many do consults on the cheap or free if they think they can get a settlement)
If this is a Medical thing, get a doctor’s opinion and a second/third/fourth opinion if needed…
If this is a Safety Issue – Find the Adult in Charge: Landlord, Grounds Maintenance, Police Officer
If this is a Mechanical Difficulties Thing: Call the Fix-It Guy whether IT, plumbing, electrical, automotive service
Okay, okay, I hear you, you are flat broke and all of the above cost money, but you are also cute as a button and everyone knows somebody who is a Fix-it guy especially the neighborhood car-guy, electrical-guy, heat and air-guy etc … work those favors and I hope you make amazing chocolate chip cookies…when I was a single little, I made a lot of cookies in trade for oil changes and other services…
Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe is a legit little system for choosing…
Coin tosses work.
If all else fails CRY! Never underestimate the power of tears. Tears are healing, cleansing, fresh-start making drops of power!
If Crying fails, SCREAM, big, huge, primal energy, soul rebirthing screams can make even the hardest adulting thing you face bearable.
Visit the animal shelter…volunteer to be a cat holder, dog walker, etc…
Send $2 to the non-profit of your choice, make sure they have your phone number! (This is important) Be available for many and often calls from unknown phone callers…these people want your money, you know how to talk and be adorable and are very good at asking why to keep the conversation going… This really does work.
Have work Insurance that provides Healthy Lifestyle Coaches? Get registered! Set tiny goals you can meet and weekly motivational calls…these people will call you at designated times and they WANT TO HEAR about how you are feeling!
You are still seriously lonely?
Meet-ups are great for finding people who are into what you are into!
Check for local Meetings like Book-clubs at neighborhood bookstores and libraries too!
Okay, this one is a hit or miss, but you figure, everyone is a little lonely…call a random number and ask for Joe or JoAnne (Choose sex based on who answers matching male to boy name etc) they will tell you that you have a wrong number. You will try again…and again…on the third call, you can say: “My name’s x, do you feel like chatting about random stuff for awhile?” … do not get mad if they say ‘No’ and hang up on you, be tenacious and call another number… Eventually you will find someone as bored and lonely as you are… safety is important so never ever reveal personal info like addresses or where you go to school or work. But even when a miss or two, you’re going to connect with a human and sometimes that’s all it takes…
At the End of the Day, Remember You Are Important!
Never, ever discount your own feelings.
Always love yourself!
Before cutting, or swallowing pills, or drinking too much reach out to a friend who knows you are a struggling little and see if they have time to chat, meet for coffee, or lunch, or a movie…
Sometimes self-care requires a reminder APP…
check your play store for the appropriate one for you. I have a few myself to help me remember to:
Take my medications ontime
Track my calories
Track my exercise, menstrual cycle, blood-pressure, moods
DISCLAIMER: This information concerns the Adult Lifestyles ABDL and DDLG and does not in any way, shape, or form refer to or apply to actual children. Please do not ever compare adult lifestylers to actual pedophiles who are sick, twisted individuals.
Let me start by saying that the information on this page is based on my experiences and by no means a complete list of all the ways that the dynamics I am about to cover can be expressed. This information is intended only as a starting point of discovery or affirmation.
Wherever you fall in the ADBL-DDLG-BDSM spectrum, you are okay, you are valid and your choices, urges, needs are completely natural and nothing to be ashamed up. If you have come up against prejudices, disgust, fear, judgement, hate… I’m sorry you had to experience those things… but there are safe spaces where you can express yourself fully… and there is great joy and empowerment in finally accepting and embracing who you are!
In the realm of ABDL and DDLG there is a lot of confusion and prejudice still linked to the lifestyle choices of those who partake in the subcultures of BDSM known as ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) and DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl). Even among longtime kinksters there are misconceptions and misunderstanding… for vanilla outsiders, the confusion can lead to hate and disgust. Making it hard for people who long to live the lifestyle to be themselves or even ask the questions that would help them figure out who they are and what they want in a relationship.
If you have urges to regress, or feel like you’ve never really been fully adult, that being an adult is actually the role you’ve been forced to play, but that is a lie, because you are clearly ill-equipped emotionally to adult… never fear, there is a place for you where you can be yourself and find the love and validation you’ve longed for.
Let’s start with the basics… Most littles can identify what age group their inner little fits into:
ABDL- Baby – the youngest age-regression, typically infant-toddler
Baby Girl/Baby Boy – regression to approx 3-5 yrs old
Little – regression to approx 6-10
Middles – regression to typical tweens to early teens
Brat -regression to mid to older teen that is especially hard to manage: jokester/prankster, sassy or playfully, sarcastic, authority challenger, disrespectful
Lolita – identity linked closely to fashion
So let’s break it down…
What is an Adult Baby, Diaper Lover? And what does the relationship look like when someone says they are into this lifestyle?
Attributes of their behavior might include:
Non-verbal, communicating with happy or sad sounds not words
For the most part, the adult baby is free to express themselves as an infant.Bottles
Thumb or Pacifier Sucking
Bed wetting/Diaper wearer
Range of motion restriction ie diaper-type spreader with wrist restraints
Enjoys being held, carried, and cared for completely. ABDL can cuddle for hours.
Watching cartoons is a favorite escape for many.
Naptimes are more requirement than luxury for them to function well.
Baby Girl – Baby Boy
A Baby Girl/Boy is an adult who behaves like an older baby who may still crave a paci or sippy cup but has mastered going potty and no longer requires a diaper but is still pre-school.
Behaviors probably include:
Non-verbal under stress/Baby-talk other times
Attachment to Stuffie
Sippy cup use
Cute dresses, lacy socks, and Mary Janes as selected by nurturer
Amenable to a large extent, exhibiting tantrums when unhappy
Non-logical and sometimes unreasonable
Rules are required but should be negotiated while both nurturer and regressor are in adult mind-space
What is a Little?
A little is an adult who behaves in the role of a child at a certain age, and there can be different ages from older toddler to younger child. Typically less than 7 or 8 years old.
A little typically adapts to their circumstance, at home alone, or with their Daddy and close, trusted friends, they can be at their littlest. At work most littles act their age or manage to find jobs that support their personality. During a single day many littles float somewhere between the spectrum of their two personality types…
Preferred behaviors might include:
Sippy cup use
Cute dresses, lacy socks, and Mary Janes
Any pastel clothing that reflects their younger persona, including but not limited to T’s, hoodies, and accessories with cartoon characters…
however there are also Goth/Creepy Littles who prefer black clothing and a decidedly darker vibe and that’s okay!
Likes to play be it coloring, gaming, or sports… littles like to be entertained and can be very needy of attention.
Many littles suffer high anxiety and fear of rejection. Sadly, most have experienced more than their fair share of abandonment, rejection, and judgement. Low Self-esteem is a common trait.
Difficulty managing emotions. Self-harm is a common symptom
For this reason rules determining self-care are a must.
What is a Middle
There are also older adult littles who identify as tweens or teens and are typically referred to as Middles. In DDLG, unlike BDSM a Middle personality is not shunned, ridiculed or punished for this endearing and maddening personality trait…both middles and brats are inherently mischievous, and often challenge the rules if not going so far as to break them in hopes of rattling their Doms or earning playful punishment.
Few go so far as to be so disobedient as to earn true punishment and therein lies the problem for a straight BDSM dominant who does not like this type of submissive. Most Middles struggle under a hardcore dominant and the relationship is doomed to fail, or worse, the dominant succeeds in breaking their playful spirit.
Fun-loving, playful, mischievous
Can be occasional tricksters, pranksters, jokesters
Rarely misbehaves on purpose
Quick to regret
Bubble-blower Gum smacker
What is a Brat?
An Adult Brat has been shunned by the typical BDSM community as being a fake or non-submissive; however in the DDLG community a Brat identity is not shunned, ridiculed or punished for this endearing and maddening personality trait…
Both middles and brats are inherently mischievous, and often challenge the rules in hopes of rattling their Doms or earning playful punishment. However a true Brat almost always challenges the Dom/mes authority in an effort to be forced to submit. Requires a strong Daddy/Mommy Dom/me with extreme patience skills.
Usually are purposefully sassy/sarcastic, disrespectful/disobedient to earn true punishment and therein lies the problem for a straight BDSM dominant who does not like this type of submissive. All brats will struggle under a hardcore dominant and the relationship is doomed to fail, or worse, the dominant succeeds in breaking their spirit.
Fun-loving, playful, mischievous
Sassy/Sarcastic, often Inappropriate Language in Most Settings
Tricksters, pranksters, jokesters
Misbehaves on purpose
Slow to regret
Multiple annoying habits
Enjoys poking the bear and pushing buttons
Loves to cause trouble and misdirect fault to cause others grief
This regressive personality elevates Needy to an almost unattainable level so that the caregiver is always forced to prove their love. At times it will seem the Brat will force the Dom/me to choose them over another responsibility.
Almost always exhibits some form of self-harm, whether refusing to eat/eating too much,refusing to take medications, smoking, drinking, abusing drugs, putting themselves in dangerous situations that require rescue, cutting, refusing excercise/excercise extremes.
What is a Lolita?
Lolita’s may or may not also embrace the ABDL or DDLG Lifestyle. So do not assume.
A Lolita in the DDLG Lifestyle’s identity is closely linked to the Fashion made popular in Japan and resembles many anime characters.
Identity molded by fashion
Addiction to Kuwaii (cute) collectables
Typically enjoys anime specifically
Sets high standards of behavior and strict rules on self, needs a caregiver who will insist on taking out time for fun
Sets high priority on appearance and will need extra time to prepare hair, make-up and clothing for their day. For this reason they are seen as most high maintenance of the DDLG Spectrum
Craves attention, actress/exhibitionist…the world is their stage
Costly habits: Manicures, pedicures, wigs, false eyelashes, colored contacts, shoes and matching handbags or backpacks
On the fashionable streets of Japan, women and girls of all ages dress in mid-list couture dresses adorned with frills, lace, and intricately patterned fabric. The baby-doll dresses end in sea ofruffles just above the knees, and giant bows pin their long hair into place. Fans of this style of dress are popping up around the globe.
Types of Lolita’s Include: Classic, Country, Gothic, Mourning, Old School, Pirate, Punk, Shiro (white), Sweet
Koko, the character in my A Little Bedtime Story series, is both little and Lolita.
Okay, so you’ve decided you definitely want to try out or dive deeper into the DDLG Lifestyle…
For those of you uninitiated into this particular BDSM subset: DDLG stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl (Substitute Mommy or Caregiver, and Little Boy for multiple variations on the theme) You may find this article of interest: Understanding DDLG Relationships)
*As always I use male gender pronouns for Daddy and female for little because that is representative of my current dynamic.
You may be wondering just how to be your beautiful little self in public, or when you know you will be around people who have no idea you are in the lifestyle, or are totally clueless DDLG exists, and you don’t want to clue them in…
(Think grandma, your boss, your clergy, the lady at the checkout counter wondering if you are a pedophile)
You may be worried about accidentally regressing in a public place and need to have ways to blend in so as not to be obvious (I understand the concern. For me a PTSD Trigger or Random Panic Attack, or Garden Variety Anxiety kicks in and I’m suddenly clinging to an alternate reality and feel like I have one foot in both worlds.) Have a game plan in your mind for if the worst happens, how you can escape the situation until you are ready to deal with it.
If either of these headspaces Curious to Explore or Worried About Being Outed, feels authentic to you, it might be time to explore a few easy to incorporate practices that will subtly allow you to be little in public places that can become easier with time. Remember, start small, don’t panic, remember to breathe… and own your identity with pride (even if you’re being covert about it)
Keep in mind, everything from here on is merely suggestions or inspiration to be personalized by you based on your little-age and relationship status. If you are a single little, maybe seek out a community friendly caregiver to take you out or even a very close friend to be your accomplice.
Subtle Ways to be in Little Space and not clue in the world…
Getting ready to go out is hard! Daddy can help choose the outfit,
put on your shoes, and fix your hair. Of course you will probably try Daddy’s patience by dragging your feet and/or waiting until the last minute… and if Daddy doesn’t remind you to potty before you leave the house, he can’t get too angry when you immediately have to stop somewhere to potty. JS.
Always hold Daddy’s hand. If daddy forgets about hand holding, he can’t be surprised when bright and shiny, or yummy sweets distract you from whatever boring thing he is looking at and you walk away…
Ask for help opening and closing containers
Wait for help opening all doors, including car and store doors
Wait for Daddy to buckle your seatbelt, or remind you to do it
Singing, humming, carefree playing. Run, jump, skip, don’t step on any cracks…
Running normal errands and grocery store runs? Leave time for the toy section, book section, candy section, ice cream section.
Ask Daddy to order for you
Order off of the Kid’s Menu
Order off the regular menu but order Kid Friendly items like french fries or tater tots
Order a kid friendly drink: milk, juice, Hi-C, or a milkshake
Find yourself at a dinner party? Appetizers and Snacks Tables offer finger foods easily imagined as Little Offerings! (I’ve been known to only eat grapes and pretzels because I’m “finicky” …technically I’m not, but it’s an easy sell.)
Always be on the lookout for an Ice Cream or Frozen Yogurt Shop!
Always have quarters ready for the bubblegum machine! Or Daddy better have some spares!
Pull-ups under clothing
Onesie worn under clothing
T-shirts with animated characters: I have a few really old Sesame Street T-shirts featuring Big Bird and Cookie Monster, one from the World of Pooh, cause Eeyore (Vintage is in)
T-shirts from the Gaming World… anything from Mario and Tetra to World of Warcraft and Call of Duty Works (Gaming is cool)
Hoodies, Winter Hats, and Summer Ball Caps with Ears (I have every season covered)
Furry or Elf Ears (Not just for Renfairs or Conventions)
Plush anything (Tactile is everything, think soft, cuddly, warm)
Cute socks (these run the gamut from knee socks, cute cartoon characters to lacy anklets)
Always choose colors that make you feel younger…that may be pastels, or rainbow bright, or glittery, or varying shades of black. This is you claiming your version of little and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version of little because You Do You best always!
Look for reasons to wear your Kigurumi anywhere and everywhere… Pub Crawls, 5-K races, Movie Premiere’s etc
Backpacks instead of a purse (This is a plus because backpacks come in every style and color imaginable. Dig animation? There is a backpack for that — fav cartoon character, Disney princess, or anime hero? Furry details? Glittery? Black leather and studs?)
Tiny, tiny purses…shop the kids section of any department store, or order from a specialty shop online
Bring along a stuffy or doll. If you are in college, this is easy peasy…claim your emotional support stuffy is easier to manage than keeping alive a support animal. If you hang out in boardrooms, this might be harder, but still doable. I’ve kept a doll from a Happy Meal for years.
Ink Pens with fun ink colors!
Pens/Pencils with Fun Toppers! (Bonus: no one will walk away with your unique item)
Stickers on Everything Everywhere… cause stickers
Hair bows, Fun Headbands, and Clips
Bubbles … keep a small bottle of bubbles in your purse to leave a little happy floating on the air wherever you go
Glitter … glitter on your face and body, in your hair, on paths … sprinkling glitter lets like minds no you are in the area
Playing at a park
Coloring outside sidewalks with chalk
Find a Local Coloring Club (or start one to meet once a week at a library, community center, or bookstore, because adult coloring books are big business and everyone needs stress relief!)
Join a role playing or reenactment group
Join or Create a Young Adult Book Club and mix classics like the Harry Potter series, with newer releases (if this becomes your personal project you can personalize even more with reading prizes and games to amp up the fun!)
Monthly Fun Field Trip! Go with your significant other, or friends who don’t even have to know your lifestyle to do a monthly activities like attend a Disney movie premier, go to the zoo, aquarium, laser tag, putt-putt golf, or nature center)
Bicycling! Discover your local biking trails!
Little Day is all about you from beginning to end and should include fun food, fun outing, and fun small treat (even if its just a $1. kid toy from the Dollar Store)