TOPIC: NOURISHING YOUR LITTLE/BIG IDENTITY
Having trouble finding your little/Daddy persona wherever and whenever you can?
I completely understand!q I also have three decades to learn that there are crests and valleys that make the journey to true self all the more precious.
One tip is creating a daily space for you to be “you” whether that is your little or your Big. I know littles whose sanctuary is found alone, in the tub behind closed doors every night. Bubblebath, Tub crayons, body paints, toys are kept hidden and locked away the rest of the day…
Another has stacks of adult coloring books and crayons so that her little can surface multiple times a day (15 minutes here or there, she says keeps her sane and her little alive)
I have many daily coping “little mechanisms” but by far my most cherished is the sanctuary/pleasure I find in World of Warcraft.I created a specific avatar in World of Warcraft that is a way for me to escape my adult responsibilities when I’m completely overwhelmed.
Since I’m little, not Big I only know what I’ve experienced…
Daddies who have their Daddy caves/dens/home office and embrace their Daddy Super Power behind their desks or in their special “Daddies Chair”. The secret place littles see peeks into but never invades to keep the Daddy power Mystic firmly in place (and allows for shaking hands or knees if summoned to Daddy/Sir’s space for reprimand)…
Or maybe you are the type Daddy most at home in the garage, head tucked under a raised hood, hands busy. A sternly voiced command from Big within the cooler garage can instill just as many butterflies in the little tummy…
Or you might be the type Big who is a true nurturer and finds solace in the kitchen making fun snacks and healthy meals (you fully know the magic power freshly baked, warm from the oven ooey-gooey cookies have to reduce your little to blushes and giggles…
Whether you are living the 24/7 dream lifestyle or fit your little/Big into a few hours here and there, you are amazing! Keep doing you!
Mleet my little avatar.. Bippity. Here with her pet undead monkey pirate and her cranky cradle. Her protector demon Blue and Daddy Baphamet are out of camera range…
Okay, so you’ve decided you definitely want to try out or dive deeper into the DDLG Lifestyle…
For those of you uninitiated into this particular BDSM subset: DDLG stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl (Substitute Mommy or Caregiver, and Little Boy for multiple variations on the theme) You may find this article of interest: Understanding DDLG Relationships)
*As always I use male gender pronouns for Daddy and female for little because that is representative of my current dynamic.
You may be wondering just how to be your beautiful little self in public, or when you know you will be around people who have no idea you are in the lifestyle, or are totally clueless DDLG exists, and you don’t want to clue them in…
(Think grandma, your boss, your clergy, the lady at the checkout counter wondering if you are a pedophile)
You may be worried about accidentally regressing in a public place and need to have ways to blend in so as not to be obvious (I understand the concern. For me a PTSD Trigger or Random Panic Attack, or Garden Variety Anxiety kicks in and I’m suddenly clinging to an alternate reality and feel like I have one foot in both worlds.) Have a game plan in your mind for if the worst happens, how you can escape the situation until you are ready to deal with it.
If either of these headspaces Curious to Explore or Worried About Being Outed, feels authentic to you, it might be time to explore a few easy to incorporate practices that will subtly allow you to be little in public places that can become easier with time. Remember, start small, don’t panic, remember to breathe… and own your identity with pride (even if you’re being covert about it)
Keep in mind, everything from here on is merely suggestions or inspiration to be personalized by you based on your little-age and relationship status. If you are a single little, maybe seek out a community friendly caregiver to take you out or even a very close friend to be your accomplice.
Subtle Ways to be in Little Space and not clue in the world…
Getting ready to go out is hard! Daddy can help choose the outfit,
put on your shoes, and fix your hair. Of course you will probably try Daddy’s patience by dragging your feet and/or waiting until the last minute… and if Daddy doesn’t remind you to potty before you leave the house, he can’t get too angry when you immediately have to stop somewhere to potty. JS.
Always hold Daddy’s hand. If daddy forgets about hand holding, he can’t be surprised when bright and shiny, or yummy sweets distract you from whatever boring thing he is looking at and you walk away…
Ask for help opening and closing containers
Wait for help opening all doors, including car and store doors
Wait for Daddy to buckle your seatbelt, or remind you to do it
Singing, humming, carefree playing. Run, jump, skip, don’t step on any cracks…
Running normal errands and grocery store runs? Leave time for the toy section, book section, candy section, ice cream section.
Ask Daddy to order for you
Order off of the Kid’s Menu
Order off the regular menu but order Kid Friendly items like french fries or tater tots
Order a kid friendly drink: milk, juice, Hi-C, or a milkshake
Find yourself at a dinner party? Appetizers and Snacks Tables offer finger foods easily imagined as Little Offerings! (I’ve been known to only eat grapes and pretzels because I’m “finicky” …technically I’m not, but it’s an easy sell.)
Always be on the lookout for an Ice Cream or Frozen Yogurt Shop!
Always have quarters ready for the bubblegum machine! Or Daddy better have some spares!
Pull-ups under clothing
Onesie worn under clothing
T-shirts with animated characters: I have a few really old Sesame Street T-shirts featuring Big Bird and Cookie Monster, one from the World of Pooh, cause Eeyore (Vintage is in)
T-shirts from the Gaming World… anything from Mario and Tetra to World of Warcraft and Call of Duty Works (Gaming is cool)
Hoodies, Winter Hats, and Summer Ball Caps with Ears (I have every season covered)
Furry or Elf Ears (Not just for Renfairs or Conventions)
Plush anything (Tactile is everything, think soft, cuddly, warm)
Cute socks (these run the gamut from knee socks, cute cartoon characters to lacy anklets)
Always choose colors that make you feel younger…that may be pastels, or rainbow bright, or glittery, or varying shades of black. This is you claiming your version of little and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version of little because You Do You best always!
Look for reasons to wear your Kigurumi anywhere and everywhere… Pub Crawls, 5-K races, Movie Premiere’s etc
Backpacks instead of a purse (This is a plus because backpacks come in every style and color imaginable. Dig animation? There is a backpack for that — fav cartoon character, Disney princess, or anime hero? Furry details? Glittery? Black leather and studs?)
Tiny, tiny purses…shop the kids section of any department store, or order from a specialty shop online
Bring along a stuffy or doll. If you are in college, this is easy peasy…claim your emotional support stuffy is easier to manage than keeping alive a support animal. If you hang out in boardrooms, this might be harder, but still doable. I’ve kept a doll from a Happy Meal for years.
Ink Pens with fun ink colors!
Pens/Pencils with Fun Toppers! (Bonus: no one will walk away with your unique item)
Stickers on Everything Everywhere… cause stickers
Hair bows, Fun Headbands, and Clips
Bubbles … keep a small bottle of bubbles in your purse to leave a little happy floating on the air wherever you go
Glitter … glitter on your face and body, in your hair, on paths … sprinkling glitter lets like minds no you are in the area
Playing at a park
Coloring outside sidewalks with chalk
Find a Local Coloring Club (or start one to meet once a week at a library, community center, or bookstore, because adult coloring books are big business and everyone needs stress relief!)
Join a role playing or reenactment group
Join or Create a Young Adult Book Club and mix classics like the Harry Potter series, with newer releases (if this becomes your personal project you can personalize even more with reading prizes and games to amp up the fun!)
Monthly Fun Field Trip! Go with your significant other, or friends who don’t even have to know your lifestyle to do a monthly activities like attend a Disney movie premier, go to the zoo, aquarium, laser tag, putt-putt golf, or nature center)
Bicycling! Discover your local biking trails!
Little Day is all about you from beginning to end and should include fun food, fun outing, and fun small treat (even if its just a $1. kid toy from the Dollar Store)